I don’t know if it’s a common thought when you get older or it’s because of the heavy stuff I’ve gone through in the last few years, but after the clinking of glasses and “Happy New Year” cheer, there was a brief moment of YAY, a new chapter!, a fresh slate!, before the dominant thought hit… so what are we going to have to deal with this year?
It’s natural to experience moments of difficulty along the way. But I felt a little ganged up on over the past few years. Worry, fear, loss, grief, depression, anxiety, pandemic, anger, mid-life hormones ( #perimenopauseshitshow ).
It was heavy. It was hard.
So, last night I made a list. I like lists. I wrote down everything good that happened last year.
I came up with 41 things in a matter of minutes.
FORTY ONE.
It flowed.
From new friendships, to spiritual growth, to backyard adventures, to creativity, to a new mindset, to the revealing of truth that was hidden in my own brain – 2021 was full of far more good than bad. After writing my initial list, I looked back on my photos from the year and came up with only one other thing I had missed. So, that’s how many things were already tucked in my brain and just needed to be intentionally unearthed with my mind and mighty mechanical pencil. And it was not at all labor intensive.
The thing about “heavy” and “hard” is that when you add it up, you get to choose whether it equals “growth” or “defeat.” Although it’s never painless, you can (and should) allow “heavy” and “hard” to teach you. If not, you will be stuck. You HAVE to process, ask hard questions, get mad, and push through, in order to move forward. (And it’s ok if you need professional and/or medicinal help to help you do that!! #prozacftw)
My faith has always allowed me to look back and see how God showed up in those times. But, I can’t see that until AFTER the trial. So, during hard times, I always look forward to the day I can look back.
Last night was a beautiful time of looking back.
So, today, I strongly *encourage* you to write (not type) your own list. Only GOOD things! And, don’t overthink it – they don’t have to be “big” things at all. Some of my things included learning to play backgammon, discovering a new author, being able to help others with something simple. 🙂
Do it.
You’ll be glad you did.